


White People Syndrome

by heartsdesire456



Series: 13 Fics of Halloween [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Scary Movies, halloween fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 09:36:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5043226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitz, Mack, and Daisy watch a scary movie together. </p><p>One of the three did not sign up for this shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	White People Syndrome

**Author's Note:**

> I decided I"m gonna do like I did last Christmas with the 25 days of Christmas only this is the 13 days of Halloween. I've got all 13 fics planned and this is just the first of them! **Edit:** I didn't account for the fact I suck at math. I totally thought the 20th was the 13th day before Halloween.... it's the 12th. Woops? I'll just have to post two tomorrow! No worries!
> 
> White People Syndrome is totally a thing. I am white people, so trust me, I know how dumb we are in scary movies, lmao.

They had barely started the movie when Mack groaned and sunk down in his seat. “Why the hell did I agree to this?” he asked, looking up at the ceiling.

Fitz shushed him, leaning into his side, curling his hands around Mack’s upper arm. “It’s about time for the first killing-“

“I know, and- Shit!” Mack jumped. The girl on the movie flipped on the lights and there was a boy taped into a chair on the patio. “Oh c’mon, bitch, hang up and call 9-1-1,” he groaned and Daisy shushed him from the chair next to them.

Mack watched the movie, slowly becoming more and more unnerved even as Fitz smiled widely at every scary and surprising moment. “Oh what is that?! Bitch, if somebody says somebody is outside your house DON’T OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!” he cried and Fitz rolled his eyes.

“Mack, relax-“

“No wonder she’s gonna die, she’s dumb as hell!” Mack complained, gesturing to the TV.

Fitz gave him a knowing look and practically cooed as he reached out to cup Mack’s cheek. “Awww, are you afraid?” He grinned and snuggled into Mack’s side, pecking his cheek. “Don’t worry, Love, I won’t let the scary man with a knife get you.”

Mack snorted. “You’re not even an adequate human shield, Fitz. You’re too small to protect all my vital organs,” he said and Fitz gave him an offended huff.

“Thought about that quite a bit, huh?” he mused, glaring playfully. Mack winked and Fitz couldn’t help stealing a quick kiss. “You’re lucky I like you.” He patted his chest. “Now shush.” Mack mimed zipping his lips and Fitz rolled his eyes, smiling in spite of himself.

Fitz felt every flinch and heard every alarmed, choked off gasp from Mack as the movie got into the action and he kept fighting laughter every time. Mack’s expressions were almost better than the movie. He went from alarmed to incredulous and back again a dozen times easily. Fitz found it terribly endearing when Mack actually _hid his eyes_ against Fitz’s hair. 

Mack seemed to reach his limit, however, when the girl on the screen actually mocked the killer for playing a prank on her instead of _running_. “Bitch, you _deserve_ to get stabbed for that shit.”

Daisy laughed. “Oh come on, she can’t expect the ACTUAL killer to show up at the party-“

“Psh, that’s the first thing I’d think,” Mack argued. He shook his head. “White people syndrome.”

Fitz raised an eyebrow. “What?” he asked with a laugh.

Mack nodded at the TV. “White people syndrome. You know damn well nobody but white people think like that. That’s why horror movies are full of white people. Who goes to check out the strange sound? White people. Who goes out after curfew when a killer is on the loose? White people.” He pointed at the screen. “Who has a scary guy in a mask confront them in a garage and doesn’t immediately throw shit at them and run screaming? White people!” He stretched his arms out, gesturing to the DVD case in the corner. “And who watches scary movies? White people,” he finished, settling with his arm curled around Fitz’s shoulders.

Daisy made a face. “I picked this movie.”

Mack shrugged. “White-enough-people, then,” he dismissed and Fitz snickered.

“I think someone’s just scared of a silly movie,” he teased, curling his arm around Mack’s middle to smile up at him. “You’re such a wimp.”

Mack poked his cheek playfully. “Yeah, and your crazy ass is the definition of ‘white people’. You threaten people holding guns on you and use yourself as bait on purpose.”

Fitz rolled his eyes. “I’m just doin’ my job-“

“ _White people_ style,” Mack interrupted with a grin. “You don’t see me trying to get myself captured on purpose, now do you?”

Fitz grinned. “Right, well, this ‘white people’ likes this movie, so you come here, hide your eyes if you need to, and I’ll make sure the scary man with a knife doesn’t hurt you so that tomorrow we can go after gun-wielding _Inhumans_ ,” he teased, gesturing for Mack to come snuggle up to him.

“That’s not the same,” he complained and Fitz and Skye both scoffed at him. Mack rolled his eyes but slid down in the seat some, laying his head against the side of Fitz’s hair with a sigh. “The things I do for you, Turbo,” he muttered and Fitz squeezed him around the middle.

“If you can make it through the ending, you get a reward,” Fitz whispered so that only Mack could hear, and Mack raised an eyebrow, turning to look at the side of his head. Fitz smiled at him. “That got your attention, huh?” he purred, sliding his hand down Mack’s side to skirt across his lower stomach teasingly.

Mack just snorted right in his face, not bothering to keep his voice down so Daisy couldn’t hear them. “Dude, if you think for a minute I’m not gonna sit on the floor in the corner so I can see anybody coming my way and sleep with a gun beside me, you’re crazy. Nobody’s getting any tonight, because the thought of serial killers stabbing me in the middle of sex is the least arousing thing in the world.”

Fitz just gaped at Mack while Daisy laughed herself into falling out of her chair behind him.


End file.
